Looking forward

When I was mired in the quicksand and couldn't get out I would daydream that one day things would be different.  But that daydream was so far from the reality of where I was at at that time internally that it seemed faraway and unattainable.  This morning I made a decision and took an action that while minimal in some ways was a little piece of that daydream from long ago come to life.  Sometimes things are just too complicated to untangle, examine and understand.  No matter how much you try to do it the end result is usually just more confusion, more entanglement, sometimes more pain, and more time expended.  Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, let go, and walk away.  This morning I chose the future over the past.  And the really wonderful thing I'm here to report as my eyes well up with tears is that it wasn't so hard to do that.  In the past making this minor decision would have consumed me.  I spent a small amount of allotted time this week thinking about another person's actions and because I have had distance and time away from it and because I've been working on identifying and moving along my own unique path my perspective has changed as well.  And it made perfect sense what the decision had to be to honor and respect myself.  I have faith in my unforeseen future in a way that is strange given how much anxiety and fear has been driving my life for the last few years.  Something is happening that I can't explain.  Some resevoir of what I'm going to assume is strength and belief in myself has been building I think.  I think I once read on Susannah's blog something about "following the bread crumbs" and I think I'm starting to do that and do it a little more than I have in the past.  I wonder what my future holds.