This is the part you want me to tell you something...some observations and lessons learned from my trip, something new about class, something.  But I have nothing to write here that comes easily.  Digging back into the past 3 weeks feels like rehashing experiences I've already told people about and there is no need to process those again.  Jumping forward to an upcoming experience that I view with a mix of sacredness and repulsion does not feel right either.  In the present what is happening feels private, not something I want to share on here anymore.  I'm starting to realize now why there has been so much fear for four years.  And honestly I don't feel like opening up about it on here now after having the experience of being judged by a close friend on my trip, a friend who I know reads what I write here.  It isn't the judgement itself that made me uncomfortable.  He reiterated thoughts and feelings I have expressed, viewpoints I'm sure I will encounter along the way if I continue down this coaching path.  It was the complete lack of regard of who he was speaking with and what my vested interest in the subject at hand was, the arrogance of admittance that he lacked any actual information about coaching as a profession, and the question it raises about whether he holds any respect for me at all given what he feels about coaching as a profession.