Priorities

Tired
Sick
Spent
This has been the last 3 weeks of my life.
Hoping the following week will help me recoup.

So many life changes are occurring around me.
I've become an aunt again which is exciting.
In the same breath though
I've learned that the only pet I've ever had
his health is declining

Walking home in the sunshine today I thought
Maybe my work has been unlearning
all that I learned before
and opening myself up
to everything
without any judgment
And now I wonder
Maybe if I can develop a resolute strength within myself
I won't be so easily blown over
by life.
What would it be like to live a life without fear and anxiety?

What would it look like if I committed on paper to my priorities
And then...
Only engaged myself with that which fell under those categories
It might be energizing
Liberating
Realigning
It would also mean
leaving behind relationships that no longer feed but drain me
But I'm ready for that
My radar on this continues to get stronger and the signals it sends now come loud and clear.

When you're tired and stripped down
to the bare essentials of focus, concentration and what you have to do to make it through the day
You very quickly lose that layer of patience that you normally have
But maybe that isn't a bad thing
because maybe that patience was aiding in your not pulling the plug
and walking away from your crutches
not standing up and making the hard decision
because it is unpopular, because you will stand out and alone and will make others uncomfortable.

for the next 7 days I'm going to commit
to only partaking in situations and the work that serves my priorities
I don't know why I feel a little badly saying that
I know I shouldn't
This is what I should have been doing all along
and this is truly what the people around me do all day long.
I'm going to report back in 1 week
to tell you how it went.

with sunshine, warmth, and love,
me