I am starting to see what it is like to be on the other end of someone's deep insecurity, where things unrelated to them are taken personally, where each action I take somehow is a slight about them.  As someone who has experience with being amazingly insecure I'm starting to wonder if this is what it was like to be on the receiving end of me.  I accomplished little by little some goals I had for my apartment and instead of celebration I'm met with insecurity from a friend.  I share news to commiserate and a friend pulls me into drama based on insecurity.  I share news about upcoming plans and past happenings and am met with a barrage of questions...I know those questions and that tone...they are based in insecurity and trying to find one's place and value in the other's life.  Did one of these people who spends tons of time looking to me for opinions or an ear ever once ask me last week about the two extremely difficult conversations I sought to have to work through things with two people who are really important to me?  Nope, not once.  Did they even ask once to know that those conversations were on the schedule last week?  You know the answer.  This is the same broken record post I've been writing here every month so I'll stop now.  Sometimes I wonder why I have two different themes in the same area of my life.  One part of me last week made some huge strides in my relationships with people and another part of me spent a lot of time stuck in a place where I don't feel much growth was happening for me.  When I change there will be people around me who won't like it, even people who say they are supportive and people who themselves are trying to change.  But change to me also means something a lot larger I'm starting to think than most of the people who want to keep me small because that means that will keep me around and more importantly keep me available to validate their issues.  Except here is the thing:  I'm no one's therapist or coach.  And there is a difference between the friends who once in a while seek an ear where it feels like friendship when we talk and the friends who I actively feel like I'm jumping into coaching/counseling mode with them and I can tell I have my work hat on so to speak.  I'm going to stop doing that because it isn't serving me.  I need that energy and attention for the things I have planned for my life.  And the truth is those that constantly look to me for attention don't seem to provide much support in the way I really need it.