The past week

It has been a busy, fun, adventurous week filled with events for the professional, friend, and love parts of my life.  I thought I would share some of it with you.

I went to meet a friend visiting from out of town at Madiba for South African food.  The company of my friend who I adore, the drinks (Kwaito made of rum, brown sugar, lime seltzer, sprite and fresh lime juice) and the appetizers (they serve samosas with achar instead of chutney) were great.  My roti dish was not so exciting (I felt like they defrosted some version of frozen naan and served me that), but then again what was I expecting ordering roti.  It wasn't going to be like mom's roti! 

Remember I mentioned that I was invited to a free introduction coaching seminar for this company which is headed up by a South Asian coach?  I feel somewhat conflicted about whether to name the company in this forum so at this point I will leave it out.  The reason being of course that this seminar was in my opinion not good and more importantly, NOT authentic.  I believe authenticity is very important in coaching.  As I am considering going into this profession I was interested to see someone of my racial background working in this field, but frankly after sitting through almost two and a half hours with this woman it just reinforced my concerns about this industry.  I learned what I would do differently, the importance of identifying your target audience and that apparently you can make a LOT of money in this field.  I didn't know that before.  She was selling and by selling I mean HARD-selling this weekend program for one weekend a month plus 3 months of small group follow-up coaching for something like $1595.  For all the hours of contact you will get if you break down this price per hour it is probably reasonable compared to other coach's hourly rate.  However, this whole session became like an infomercial where she slashed the price if we signed up that date, etc.  I calculated how much if you average the two prices and multiply that by the number of slots available her company makes every month off of these workshops.  $75,000!  That is a lot of money to make per month with a substandard product.  The coaching she did with the women in the audience wasn't close to amazing.  Amidst some of her suggestions were reading If Life is a Game, Here are the Rules by some author whose name I don't remember and who I don't care to look up or link the url to Amazon or her site.  I think there is a copy of this book at my parents' house.  It is some What I Learned in Kindergarten type of book.  Then she mentioned Deepak Chopra.  When her business partner or friend went to write his name on the board she mispelled it.  Then she raised her hand 5 minutes later to say she mispelled it and spelled it again...mispelling it in another way again.  If you're going to recommend people to read maybe you should at least work on getting their names right, no?  The coach asked if anyone had looked at her website and two of us out of 70 (don't people research things before committing their time to it) raised our hands.  Turned out the first person was a friend of hers so she said that didn't count, then she turned to me and said oh A, I know A.  I quizzically looked at my friend next to me and said she doesn't know me, I've never met or heard of her before.  WTF?  Then when asked by a woman if she was offering any more free sessions as she didn't have the money right now to commit over a thousand dollars, the coach responded saying no cause I can't ignore my paying clients and frankly if you're not ready to pay you're not ready to change your life.  That made me mad.  Women didn't come there to be insulted.  And that comment was so rude.  It was a mess.  This woman needs to work on her own story before trying to coach others.  It was good for me to see another perspective and approach.  I know what I would do differently, what my target audience is, and at least one of the qualities that makes a good coach.  Maybe this is because I have a good coach myself and also because I'm learning I have a very set idea about how I want things done.  There is a way to provide good coaching without ripping people off financially.

A few days later based on a friendly recommendation I attended a workshop by Pamela Slim and Jonathan Fields.  It was the first place I ever said out loud I was thinking of being a coach.  It made me feel a little exposed, labelled and awkward.  I think for me the mere act of going was an action step.  I think this workshop is more for people who have their big idea an need help executing it.  It combined coaching with entrepreneurship and creative marketing.  I'm not doing it justice in that explanation.  I met a few interesting people and I got a copy of each of Pam and Jonathan's books.  I'm going to check out their blogs too.  They seemed like smart people who knew what they were talking about it.

That night I had a date with someone I met online that I was interested to meet.  Our online conversations had been funny and interesting.  I was going in not expecting too much, but then something he asked for specifically made me realize he was excited about the date too and then as the date got closer to happening I realized I was really nervous.  Turns out there was no need to be because the second he showed up I knew I was not physically attracted to him.  I think he lied about his height and he even looked like he weighed less than me (which is saying something since I'm skinny).  If it isn't there it isn't there and I can't force that type of attraction to happen.  He was nice and we had dinner, but I think the lack of interest was mutual.  I think there should be a penalty flag or card in dating just like they have in sports. If you meet the person and know quickly you aren't attracted to him or find that he misrepresented him or herself you should get to play the penalty card or throw down the flag and save time and exit the date.  This is the fifth first date I've been on lately and it is getting old in my opinion.  I've realized some things throughout this process, but I'll save those for another post.

Sunday I had brunch at Recipe which I loved.  I normally don't order eggs when I go out as I have a love-hate relationship with this food from childhood, but the Tomato and Buffalo Mozzarella Tart with basil pesto and black truffle oil, the artichoke and goat cheese omelette and my Nojito (Mojito with no liquor in it) were excellent.  I also finally registered for that UPenn Positive Psychology class taught by Harvard professor Tal-Ben Sharar.  I have to log into it tonight when I get home and start the lectures.

Monday I went to the US Open Women's Doubles Final and the Men's Singles Final.  It was a lot of fun.  I had never been in all my years in NYC.  It was an exciting match as Juan Martin del Potro upset Roger Federer.  We also watched the Williams sisters win the doubles championship.  That wasn't as exciting, except when the announcer tried to ask Serena directly about her outburst the day before and she completely ignored and dodged the question and Venus had to save her.  We also saw Jack Nicholson, Lorne Michaels, the Olsen sisters, Tony Bennett, Bruce Willis, Donald Trump and his wife, Gerard Butler, Former Mayor Dinkins, Christie Brinkley, Regis and Joy Philbin, and a woman from my class in college!  Then we went to Justin Timberlake's Southern Hospitality BBQ to eat and watched the end of the Bills-Patriots football game and the beginning of the Chargers-Raiders game.  I think I watched more sports that night than I have in a year!